Nurturing and intimacy

This morning, I’m watching a video presentation by Gregg Braden around the Seven Essene Mirrors. It’s a way of seeing relationships that casts new light for me.

One of the mirrors presented by those around us shows us things we have given away, lost, or have been take from us by people with power over us. This mirror says that we are strangely drawn – magnetically drawn – to people who represent those things for us. We want those things back. This attraction is often difficult to see or pinpoint – unless we ask the right question.

In looking back at two relationships that were sparked by a tremendous attraction, I realized that one woman demonstrated a kind of nurturing that had been withheld from me all my life. She did it on our first date – in the first half hour. I found myself cuddled in her arms crying as she held me and healed me. I felt like a baby. Now I realize I never felt this as a baby. What a blessing my partner was. How attractive!

In the other relationship I examined, it was clear that my partner demonstrated a kind of sexual intimacy I had given away all my life. From whatever dysfunctional thoughts and feelings, I had blocked the expression of my intimacy. She opened me up. Touch with her was fun, it was imaginative, it was healing, it was playful, it was giving. What a blessing she was. How attractive!

In both cases, that special thing which they demonstrated went away – seemed lost again. How painful!

But, now that I see it, I know that nurturing and feeling nurtured is a part of who I am, and so is sexual intimacy. I’m not letting these parts go again.