Ego ride

It feels like an ego ride sometimes. Up, up, up. Down, down, down. Ego can make it so sweet. Then sweep the rug out in an instant.

But for me, it’s not an ego ride. I’ll see it through Spirit’s eyes. I know what it feels like to be awake in the presence of God. It’s got an overwhelming joy and love that ego can’t touch.

Ego can move the universe around to make it look like a great ride. So can Spirit. Only one ride is real – only one lasts. I choose that one.

Love first

What does it mean – love before sex?

Today, I understand differently than before. I am experiencing it differently than before.

When we embark on a new relationship, there’s a shape to it. Meet – talk – go on a date – get to know each other – touch each other – and then sex. Right?

There may or may not be some sort of commitment in the middle of that – about monogamy or staying in touch over the phone or email or texting – about being gentle and loving to each other. And then, in this process, love grows – or has an opportunity to grow. From compatibility and attraction love can grow.

Today, I can present a different way. What if two people see that this process we learned from everything and everyone around us always results in loss? What if the expectations in the process can never be met? What if the seeds of the breakup are sown in the early romantic frenzy? What other possibility is there for two lovers?

We can connect first in a field of love. This field is not filled with sexual attraction, neediness, or expectations. It is not a field we own or control. Only the love of our higher power is there, waiting for us to come in – to drop our identities and come naked into the field in faith and trust that Spirit will guide us in love.

We don’t know much about this field. We may have caught a glimpse of it, or felt it’s presence from the other side of the fence. We may have a dream of what it might be like in this field. But we do not know – or at least most do not. We may have felt the hand of God even though we have not ventured into the field.

Rumi wrote about this field – the one beyond.

I have met a lover in this field. It was not easy to go in. It’s a big field – filled with the overwhelming joy and power of love. It’s scary. It’s one thing to go in alone – very different to go in together.

And now that we’re in there, looking around, seeing what it’s like, sex looks totally different. For the first time, it feels like it will be an expression of love. And that, when it comes, it will be an entirely new experience.

This is different than celibacy or waiting until you’re married or waiting until the right moment or the right one. But it some ways, this is the reason for those ideas. I’m liking the idea of love before sex. The confusion is gone.

Attachment and non-attachment

I was just thinking that attachment this morning – this now – means that I’m bringing something forward from yesterday – not to learn from it – but somehow clinging to it. That means today is not fresh, it’s stale – even before it begins.

The thing I’m clinging to could be a bummer – it could also be a flamer – or a joy.

But there  it is – attached to me – to my idea of me.

And it isn’t an attachment to the person, place, thing, event – they’re all gone. It’s an attachment to the story I made up about it.

So, around my neck, weighing me down, are a bunch of stories. That aint freedom.

In metaphysics, they say “bless the past and release it.” Makes sense.

This morning, I’m starting my life over again. As any little child or baby would. Without attachments to yesterdays.


Twice recently, in the midst of receiving a shock, I found myself both trembling and smiling – as though pain and joy were there instantly – simultaneously. I didn’t understand.

What place did a smile have in this news? Why was I smiling?

It was clearly a smile, and I felt it throughout my body. I knew it was real. It just made no sense. What followed the news was painful – lessons and healing. Ouch.

Today, I asked to understand the smile, cause it just happened again. I’m actually in the middle of it as I write this. The answer was beautiful.

Spirit told me that the smile was grace – a strong reminder of God’s presence. God put the smile there to remember Him. And so remember the way through and beyond the pain.

Thank you.

Focus before clarity

Perhaps you think that you need to get clear about this thing that’s troubling you – then you’ll know what to focus on. Could be, you’ve got it backward. It seems so to me this morning.

How can we get to clarity without focus?

So, how about tackling our trouble first by establishing a theory about what to focus on.

Yesterday morning’s message was: New Life. New everything. Create it from scratch. Imagine it. Where to begin?

I gushed out a list of stuff I think I want in my life – about twenty really wonderful “things.” Ok, that’s a start.

This morning’s message was: pick five. Five to focus on. Where to begin?

Picking a focus doesn’t mean the other fifteen things won’t be part of the New Life. It doesn’t mean I have to give them up.

Picking a focus doesn’t mean these five must come first.

Picking a focus doesn’t mean these five leverage the other fifteen into existence.

The criteria I got was simple: which five make your heart sing The Most?

It was easy to pick five – but I had five more that wouldn’t go away. As I looked at them and felt my heart’s reaction, I got enough clarity to combine a couple into more powerful “things.” With a little guidance, I got down to five. I feel really good about them.

And you know why, there’s a clarity in this focus! Now, I can get to work – in a focused way!